As Family Historians/Genealogists our whole being is focused on the life and death of those family members who were here before us, but I wonder how much attention we lend to those who are with us now? I say, not enough.
I am 46 years old. I have experienced life, love, & sorrow. I have suffered the loss of family and friends, but I have never "felt" as much as I am right now.
It seems a little odd to admit as death is not new to us; it is a fact that we deal with on a regular basis, however, it becomes all too real when it involves someone close to us, someone we love & someone we cannot replace.
I have always prided myself on being a strong, independent, self-sufficient person who never needed anyone, though I have to admit in recent weeks my resolve has been tested to its limits. For the first time that I can ever remember, I have wanted & needed someone to hold me and tell me its all going to be ok. I know its not. I expect the road ahead is going to be long, tiresome, heartbreakingly painful & worst of all, something I have absolutely no control over. What I don't know is how I am going to cope with it all.
How do you watch someone you love suffer and know there is nothing you can do to help? I do not have an answer for that.
I feel a sudden urgency to learn as much about this person as quickly as I can. I have realised that I know nothing. I have barely scraped the icing from the cake and all too soon it will be taken from me and the knowledge will be lost forever.
